I Will Not Disappear
Fighting Depression
by Audra J Pitts
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It has been just about a month since I have written anything here. It’s been a tough start to the new year. Alone with my thoughts as I sink with depression. Holidays without my children because it was their father’s year to have them, and I had to twist the arm of my oldest to even call me. The phone doesn’t ring, and I feel invisible to everyone.
The anniversary of my husband’s arrest for domestic violence drew near, and facing it alone made me withdraw even further. My father’s birthday, and my mother’s and brothers as well; I wish I could have celebrated with them in heaven, and my pillow was soaked with the salt of my tears every night.
On February 2, the phone finally rang, and my heart skipped a beat as I didn’t know whether to be happy or scared. It turns out I should have been terrified, it was the hospital letting me know that my God Son was on life support and was officially brain dead. Why did the world have to lose him, I will never know.
The spinning swirls of confusion and depression were my daily norm, and I knew that I had to find a way out of this sunken state of mind. As I wrote his obituary and walked into the office of the newspaper, I stepped into the office of a…
