Parenting: mothers' loss to transgender
Letter To a Deadname
The Countdown to Goodbye
By Audra J Pitts
https://medium.com/subscribe/@audrajpitts744
This article is brutally honest and emotional, yet it is highly controversial. It is not meant to offend anyone, as I fully support my child and anyone in the LGBTQ community. I hope this will relate to other parents experiencing the same inner turmoil and trying to understand.
My Dearest K,
You will not get to read this as you no longer exist. I hope to see you again one day, running through the field of wildflowers in your little Easter dress. Your pictures hang on my wall like a shrine. Time is slipping away, and soon there will be nothing left to recognize. I felt pride and joy when I first saw that perfect little face. I watched you sleep for hours, kissing your beautiful forehead. You were my most outstanding achievement, and it now seems I have failed.
I spent hours picking out the perfect name for the perfect little girl you were. I thought I would be alright when you told me you were going away, with tears in your eyes and a shaky voice — the dagger through my heart, the grief, and the loss. I was furious with you for wanting to leave me. I lashed out at you and said unspeakable…
